I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
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He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
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Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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