I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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