i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He better not be in your backpack
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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