i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
