you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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