is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
