I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
