Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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