i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
