doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
