Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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