just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
