It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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