I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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