Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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