if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
