but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
