Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
