I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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