dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
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Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
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I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover