i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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