You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
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Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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