Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
