we're blogging at a bar
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
