I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Congratulations! We have a period
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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