just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
