Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I need moral support for this bender
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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