You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
