Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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