I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
