you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
this is an emotional support booty call
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
