Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
