I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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