she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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