She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
