and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
