I skipped work to stalk him.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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