i just sent this text using only my big toe
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
