you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize