dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
