i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
