I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
