Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize