No stitches, just platelets and will power
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
