worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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