Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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