I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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