That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
