I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We need to rekindle our bromance
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
