im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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