i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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