Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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