I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
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Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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