you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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