She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
