I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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