O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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