Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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