We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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